what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
