I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
