Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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