I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's rum buckets o'clock
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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