so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hippo gnu deer
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
