$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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