I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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