Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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