ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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