Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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