Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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