Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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