No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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