She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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