please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
