He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
