Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
