didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
