Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
