Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
