woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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