But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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