last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
