It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
