Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
