My friends, they love my intelligence
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We just shotgunned beers for America
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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