Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
