And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
