You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize