last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
