I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
