all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
