I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I forget how to act sober
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
