hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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