someone threw a dead crab at me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
