**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
