My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
