I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm too high and old for this...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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