and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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