Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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