I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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