Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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