He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
