do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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