dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He felt like a one man threesome
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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