somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
