oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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