Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
