Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize