my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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