is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
