are you still at the devil's house?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
