Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
