my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
