I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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