he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize