look no pants
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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