Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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