wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
