if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
