I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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