the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
