She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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