I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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